Insecure person

I change my article language to English
in order to convenience someone who wish to read.
I gradually realize, I try to change because for a person,
maybe that person will changing me to very good and nice,
I thought that person is a good person,
will no make me cry.

Today I was asked a question from my friend,
"Am I a insecure person?"

How long I never asked this question by others?

Then, I just wake, I'm still a insecure person,
in interpersonal relationship and other things...
All of this definitely will associated with my high school experience,
the bad and horrible memories.

I hate became insecure person,
my insecure is means you can't hundred percent trust people or other things,
you still having alertness, worry and scare to human and things.

I LOST TRUST FROM PEOPLE.

(CRY CRY..)

I try to make assumption,
if someday my treasure belonging disappear or abandon me,
I'm sure cry and cry and cry,

and don't want to tell others.

keep it inside, even my those 2 best friends,
I also don't want to bother them...

my treasure belonging? Family, lover and friends.. 


Maybe I'm too stress recently,
I can't really smile from my heart,
just only feel happy and better when see him
or my classmate make me laugh.

Am I too stress?

I need to go far far away to take a rest first?
where I should go? 
who should go with me?
Who willing to go with me?


if I tell people,
I'm self-abased, I'm depress, I'm always put others in the first place,
my happy come from other happy;
family, lover and friends all are my support and brace,
how will that person react?